I guess he got too much confidence then cos he’s showin’ up two days later and fuck I wonder if its an act or which part is if so. ‘I want you to meet my parents,’ he says and I’m like thinkin to meh how far did you think this through cos yeah I’ll do myself up nice straighten teh hair and put on makeup perfect but how far does he think this is really gonna go and I kno I’m gonna get hurt real bad but I can’t say no to him which well sucks cos I kno I’m gonna get hurt, I’m used to it, but him, well. And fuck he went all out like he knows me so its not like a standard tux the whole thing is black down to the shirt except the bowtie which is purple all he asks is light on makeup and I guess I can do that and I kiss him. He’s still getting used to all this so he jumps a bit and dad walks in right then and well he was prolly a few sheets to the wind already but that just knocked him over. ‘Papa,’ I say, like why the fuck did I develop this bad fake Brit accent at once, ‘meet my boyfriend.’ And both of them sort of look at each other like wtf happened to meh but he’s got manners only rich people get and fuck if he doesn’t help my dad up and they’re chatting like old ‘chums’ at some Yale frat my dad always wanted to be in. And I have vodka cos usually that makes it all smoother, for the record ma dad knows I drink but unless I run him out he won’t bitch, I guess he thinks of it as being the closest thing to a scholarship he’s gonna help me get. I tried to help him with his job once and all I remember was puking all over a boat and the biggest fish I ever saw like some Lord of the Flies shit in front of me and haven’t touched fish since. But this is kinda weird cos I just fuckin realized I dunno his name but he saves me with the greeting and it’s Alexis, Sasha for short, I guess there’s something I don’t quite get there but whatev, I’ll call him Sasha, his dad’s some big deal with a Russian oil company. I whisper ‘Drew’ in his ear acting like I’m just kissing it and next I know they’re both me on me I’m getting like tux-raped and Sasha spits and pats down my hair and I laugh and he says what so I say lemme show ya. Bad part is ma dad is curious too and both of them are like looking at me like some animal in a zoo when I get out ma curling iron and straighten it. ‘I gotta try that,’ says dad and we laugh cos well he doesn’t have enough hair to straighten. Dad looks down and I well love this man and feel somewhat bad cos I know how much I’ve put him through and Sasha picks up somehow. ‘I’ll take care of him, sir,’ and like fuck no one’s called my dad ‘sir’ for years if ever so he gets well embarrassed and just shakes his hand and says he trusts him. I’m so nervous I wanna puke already when we get there fuck I didn’t know he was Russian and I’ve never met one before so I just go stupid and when I get introduced of all things I bow and thank god they just laugh. And suddenly Sasha vanishes and I’m just staring at his dad and fuck if I thought I could do vodka this man is scary. ‘So what do you think of the opportunities in green energy,’ he asks, and well fuck I may get C’s at best in school it’s not like I’m stupid. ‘Waddy think,’ fuck stop slurring Drew, ‘there’s plenty of chances just this country aint doin them.’ And then he asks me some mathematical equation and ya I saw it on Wikipedia but fuck math I just get like perfect so without even thinking I spout out something and the man drops his glass at once, I’m like oh fuck cos now everyone here is looking at me so I’m like ‘what, it’s obvious.’ He stares at me like he’s seeing ten dead Czars or something and then next I know he’s got Sasha in like a huge grip and whispering shit in Russian which I don’t speak but hell I get patterns so I pretty much know what they’re saying. Now he’s back and all excited and I don’t know what to think but Sasha’s nodding so… ‘I get you visa? You and Sasha come back, live in Murmansk? Name your salary?’ And that’s just way too much at once and I can’t help myself so I just say the first thing on ma mind. ‘I’m not gonna help anyone build bombs.’ Sasha’s mouth just drops and everyone there is staring at me and fuck I’ve never felt so uncomfortable. Finally the man speaks and I guess I think he’s for real cos he’s almost tearing up and he’s like ‘No, for peace, for good,’ he’s stumbling here and losing his English badly so I guess it’s real. And fuck idk what to say cos hell I’ve never been out of New England but Sasha is nodding so I say let me talk to him and next I know fuck bad idea but he didn’t know he’s trying to talk to me on a sailboat and I puke all over the water. I get over it a bit and try to think of it as a big waterbed cos Sasha is talking to me and saying shit that shouldn’t make sense at all but it does and that scares me like fuck will I ever see my dad again and fuck am I really that good that I can actually do something about shit that scares the fuck outta me? And he’s gentle now like really sweet and if it was fake I could see through it cos he stumbles over doing the makeup and blacking out the nails I wanted before just to make me he happy and I kiss him but I say get me off the goddam boat cos I don’t do boats. And fuck all if we aren’t back at the dock in minutes I jump off the frickin thing so fast I almost go in the water but his dad catches me and fuck then he says four words I never thought I would hear in my life. ‘I accept you together.’ And that well drops me, wow, people just can’t make that shit up, right? but Sasha picks me up and he’s holding me up cos there’s so many questions I just can’t even speak. He’s outlining a deal and fuck idk what to say even Sasha is a bit confused but just a wave of the old man’s hand and he shuts up and two more words. ‘Take it.’ I look at him and the rest is unspoken but fuck I can see in his eyes he wants this and believes in this and ya there was lots of shit in there about paid visits for ma dad to see me and payments and no more mortgage. Fuck, I’m just a kid, wtf am I supposed to say. ‘Is it cold there?’ I ask fucking idiot I am. ‘Very.’ I nod. ‘Not with me, though,’ he finishes. And fuck idk what to say its either this or another transfer cos I kept beaten to shit every school in Mass, they gotta be running out by now. ‘Promise?’ ‘I promise.’ I’m shaking now cos fuck, all mylife I’d been told I was a fuck up but ya I just slept through classes and flunked cos I knew it already so all I can ask is I want dad with me on the first flight over and I get a yes and so I say yes. And it’s so nice cos even though for all I know I’m on a jet to nowhere but I got the two ppl I care most about in life, ma dad snoozing on one side and Sasha squished up on the other with his hand down ma jeans lol and its so scary and safe all at once. All I can do is just wipe the drool off Sasha’s lips and kiss them and fuck it’s just starting to sink in how much they’re depending on meh. I can’t fail.

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